Dr. J's head is spinning as he tries to figure out how to use his new washing machine. He was disgusted with the results of his old method of doing the laundry and he decided to take BOLD action. His old detergent was nothing to CHEER about and he had had ALL he could stand. In order to fight this rising TIDE of mediocrity, Dr. J purchases the ultimate weapon to use in modern-day starch wars - a computerized home laundry center. This machine does it all! It washes, dries, dyes, and hangs up permanent press. However, it doesn't seem to do a very good job on cottons. (I guess you could say that there are still a few wrinkles that need to be ironed out.) In particular, the collars on his cotton shirts come out stiff as a board. They are so stiff that Dr. J can take his ring off his finger and roll it clear around the perimeter in a perfect circle.